Monday, October 29, 2012

Ooh MD Anderson... Here we are again.

Wow, so it's been quite a while since I've blogged last. QUITE a while. I've been overloaded here lately. Not necessarily all that "busy," just been feeling crumby, and had other things that needed to get done other than my rant on here... ;) hehe
   So, tonight, I'll begin by explaining why I suddenly have time to blog tonight. I'm in the hospital. MD Anderson to be exact. I've been here for a pretty bad gastrointestinal bleed. The tumor in my stomach is ulcerated, and it decided to bleed for several days, which is why I'm here now. Blood levels are stable now. It IS Tuesday, October 29th. I've been here since Monday, October 22nd. I have received 10 units of blood, 1 bag of platelets, and numerous bags of fluids that are jam packed of magnesium and potassium, yum. So, with my hemoglobin at a stable 10.0 for the last couple days, I SHOULD be going home tomorrow evening. Praying that all goes well. (say an extra prayer for me.)
   I've kept myself busy, for the most part, I guess. My wonderful sister in law got me a smashbook! How cool are those right?! And I started it. Using some of my ct scan reports, and a blood count report that I got. It got turned into a "anchor" sort of, and I put a lot of little anchor, strength-y quotes on it. And doodled a bunch! I love it. I've crocheted some, but it's difficult because I have things all over my arms, IV's and oxygen readers and such. But the main thing I've done is read, watch tv, and do a lot of thinking and talking to my mama, who stays with me. She's so good to me. (Girls, be good to your mama's! If you're good to them, they're good to you. But mine is better than anyone's, so don't even try to compare!)
   I have a very very good boyfriend too. He endures much more than every day, run-of-the-mill boyfriends. I have an illness that is "treatable, not curable" and he doesn't care. He loves me no matter the illness. Garrett Lunsford is a man that, not only deals with me being a hardheaded little southern firecracker, he loves me unconditionally. He tries his hardest to keep me happy when I'm being poked, prodded, and all kinds of other embarrassing things they do to you when you have cancer, and are in the hospital. Let me tell you, modesty doesn't work around here. Nope. I lost my modesty the very first time I walked into the hospital. Garrett comes here every day he can. He works all day, goes home and changes, drives 35 miles to a huge building in the medical center, only to PAY to park and walk a good mile (that's a close spot!), to a tiny hospital room, and there I am. Cuddled under a pale green blanket, with dirty tangled hair, pajamas, and tubes running off my arms everywhere. Sometimes a bag of blood going through the tubes. He greets me with a huge smile, and of course a big wet kiss. Most of the time surprising me with some little thing that made him think of me. Sometimes it's flowers, sometimes it's a movie. This time is was MAGIC MIKE! (he's so good to me and my mom!) He also brought me an early birthday present, a handmade silver coral, and copper starfish ring. I love it. I love the beach, so it represents me well. Garrett has never known me without cancer. But he loves me more than any man has ever thought about loving me.. He does this little dance (it's his happy dance) that makes me, and my mom laugh so hard that we're about to cry. He gets so antsy sitting up here that it makes me giggle, just watching him squirm around, trying to be still. Garrett brings me so much joy, that honestly,  I forget about the bad situation I'm in... I cant find the words that express how much better he makes my life. It may not be easier, but it's so so so worth it. That man makes me, the me that I want to be. And I love him so much for that. 

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